What if you want to politely ask for monetary donations in leau of gifts?

We are paying for our wedding and do not need any gifts. We have been together for almost 5 years and already live together. Any suggestions, or is this rude request?

What if you want to politely ask for monetary donations in leau of gifts?
In this day and age, your request is one that is very much acceptable. It is also something that many people are doing since the trend now seems to be that people already have more seperately or jointly that they don't really need the things that people traditionally give.





One of the most common ways that this request is made is to put a small card as an enclosure in the invitation that says something to the effect of the following:





"We are very appreciative of the desires that our friends and family may have to shower us with gifts on this most joyful occasion, howevr as we already have been blessed with the basic needs that we have, we would appreciate it if you decide to give us a gift that it be a financial one so that we can apply your loving gift to the beginning of our new life in the best possible way."





Also, many people ask for monetary gifts to be paid to a travel agent to be used towards the cost of the couple's honeymoon expenses, which is something that has become very acceptable as well.





I hope that helps you and congratulations to the both of you on your pending nuptials!





Dr. Blackmon, MD, PhD
Reply:Yeah, you should never 'ask' for cash gifts...it does appear to be a bit on the tacky side. Just don't register anywhere. We didn't 'register' for gifts and almost everybody gave us cash w/beautiful cards. I think out of 120 guests, we only recieved 4 actual 'wrapped' gifts.


Also, most times close family/friends may ask your parents on each side what may be a good gift idea....so you could always rely on word of mouth to.


Congrats and good luck!
Reply:It's very rude. First off, you shouldn't expect gifts anyway...and Secondly, it's rude to ask for anything up front, especially money.





Your best bet...Don't register and hope they will bring money.
Reply:It is rude to ask them outright, however, I would say that 90% of people that go to weddings give money. And if you are having a shower, then whoever is planning it can put 'greenback shower' on the invite. That will give people a clue that you prefer money. That is a much more common way. Unfortunetely, for the actual wedding invite, you can't out anything of the kind. For my wedding, I think I literally only got 2 actual gifts. The rest was all money. So I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Reply:There is no polite way. Period. Just don't do it.
Reply:It is not polite to request a monetary gift...





If you didn't register - people will get the hint...
Reply:we are in the same situation and came to the conclusion that it might be better when asked what we would like to ask for date night things it could be any thing from movie tickets to restraint gift certificates my mom said she was going to get us a weekend at a bed and breakfast
Reply:dont do anything


if no registry cards


are enclosed, most


people give money


anyway


Never ask!
Reply:It's very rude and believe me, you will not be forgotten if you do. Being invited to a wedding is an honor; as should receiving a gift. The gift giver goes to a lot of trouble picking out just the right item. If you aren't registered, people will assume you don't need anything. You may/may not get cash. BUT DO NOT ASK FOR IT. It is classless.
Reply:TACKY


- although not really but that's seems to be what you said to me! Ironic how you had the SAME EXACT QUESTION! At least I am asking for a gift of a honeymoon you just want money! Plus it's not like my parents are paying for it, we are so we should get our honeymoon paid for! You're rude!
Reply:Here's a simple trick. Register at Macy's. Return all of your gifts, you'll get credit back, but then you can open up a Macy's account, transfer your credit to your Macy's credit card, and then you can request a refund check. Worked for us :) Also, I believe Crate %26amp; Barrel will give cash back for returned items on a registry.
Reply:Someone asks this same question almost every day on here and the answer is always the same - DON'T ASK FOR MONEY! Just be happy that people are attending your wedding and take whatever they bring graciously.
Reply:You really can't. Maybe mention it to close family who won't find it rude like parents and if anoyone asks them they can hint but otherwise the best thing is not register and if people ask say you don't really need anything but thanks anyway, they will probably show up with money or gift cards. We didn't register and got a lot of gift cards.
Reply:It's very rude and in poor taste. Let your parents/close friends know this is what you'd like and if anyone asks them what you need/want, they can tell them then. Anything else is in very poor taste.
Reply:Pan handling is NOT polite.





It's rude and tacky to ask for gifts and even more so to ask for cash.





You can suggest the idea by word of mouth only, but never on the invitation. Do not register for anything, that ussually give the guests a hint.





Good luck
Reply:You can't ask that politely.
Reply:If I got a request for money, I probably wouldn't give them anything. By requesting this, you are saying that you expect people to bring you gifts and the gifts you expect them to bring aren't good enough. I know why you are asking and it makes sense but there really is no good way to ask.
Reply:It's not impolite to ask for donations to a charity, like saying "in lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the Salvation Army" (or whatever. Humane Society, Alzheimers Research, etc).





If you don't need anything specifically, maybe that's a good option.
Reply:wow I want to know what la la land people are living in these days.





most weddings it is expected of the guests to give some sort of gift. For years money was an acceptable gift. giving money to the bride and groom is very traditional. When weddings receptions started to become popular in all classes many couples had " penny weddings" Every guest would give a penny and it would pay for the reception and anything left over would go to the bride and groom.





I don't think there is a proper way to ask for money as a gift. But maybe if you get your wedding party to spread the word along the grape vine it will work. Set up a wishing well on your gift table. if people still want to give you a gift that is fine but lots of people give some money for the couples future.








If you want to donate the money to charity simply put it in your invitation. Or during your bridal shower put the information instead of registry information, or on your wedding website
Reply:Greetings, I'm getting married this August and I disagree with a lot of the blogs and comments "saying that asking for money is rude". That theory is absolutely NOT TRUE. It's 2008 times has changed. Be mindful that there are several Brides and Grooms that want to ask but are too afraid of how "tacky" it would look if they ask. (Those are the same ones that end up with unwanted gifts or re-gifted items) It's ok to ask for what you want. It's your day so enjoy it!!! You will spend a lot of $money$ impressing your guest so what better way to go off on your honeymoon then with a little treat. You want your day to be memorable but you don't want to come back from the honeymoon miserable!!! So, I highly recommend you follow your heart. Just be polite about it...In Lieu of gifts the Bride %26amp; Groom are requesting monetary donations!!! There you have it ~ Good Luck and Congratulations!!!!
Reply:There is no polite way to ask for money. It is rude and tacky.





Your wedding is not a fundraiser.
Reply:It's a little rude. Just return the gifts and get gift cards. Another option is to put only a very few items on your registry, I went to a wedding that did that and since there weren't a lot of options I just gave cash in a card!
Reply:Don't do it! It's tacky. If you already have everything you need in the way of gifts, why don't you put your invitiation something to the effect of, "please, no gifts."
Reply:Probably the most rude of requests you can make. You're better off taking the gifts and selling them on Ebay vs. asking people to pay to go to your wedding.





While it sounds good and you need it, It's not socially acceptable to ask for it. If people want to give it as a gift, it is their right but to ask for it in leau of other pointless gifts you don't need just doesn't work. People love to go out and spend money on stuff and it's fun for them and allows them to share more of your wedding.





I'd love to get a ton of money at mine however you just can't do it. Gotta love Societal rules. I saw this same question asked of Miss. Manners who agree's it's not a good thing to do.
Reply:It's tacky, why don't you have a sign that reads, "will wed for loot". Just don't register anywhere, and people will give you nice things or money.
Reply:You need to tell your family and close friends that you don't really need gifts and they can tell people.





Guests always ask someone what the couple needs or where they are registered and that way whomever they ask can say that you have everything but money would be great.





http://www.theknot.com/ch_qaarticle.html...
Reply:Anytime asking for gifts or money, it is rude. I don't think (strictly my opinion) there is any nice way to ask for money. It will make you look like you are expecting it.
Reply:If you want guests to consider a financial donation as a gift, then the norm is to list that as one of your options so that they can choose. I received an invite which offered three ideas: 1) they had an on-line wedding list which had been organised at a department store, 2) "We are saving towards having a new kitchen put into our cottage, so a contribution towards that would be lovely if you prefer."


3) High Street Gift vouchers.





I know it seems 'rude' to be asking, but I think it is the norm these days to come up with a wedding list as such, and practical, so that you don't finish up with six toasters or a set of lurid green towels. People are not offended, as they prefer to buy something they know you want I am sure. Have a great day, and hope you don't end up, as I did (before the days of wedding lists) with 14 sets of glasses of all different shapes, sizes etc, and 3 electric toastie makers!
Reply:now that's what i like someone with their head on straight. instead of gifts there is a money tree people put money in an envelope
Reply:There really is no nice way. You need to do a registry any way and then you can always return those for the money if you really want the money that bad. Just find out who gives money back for gifts or whatever. But there really is no nice way. Or just dont register any where and take a risk of getting nothing from some people.





You can also have your parents kinda spread the word around. Most people rather get you a gift because its more personal then money.