When do you start giving gifts as a couple?

When you are dating, and going to family events, when do you give gifts as a couple? I am going to my niece's first communion, which my boyfriend was invited to. I don't think he got her a gift, or even thought about it. Should I put his name on my gift? What is appropriate here?

When do you start giving gifts as a couple?
This is interesting question and it came up in my family a few years ago. My brother was married and had a daughter, this meant at birthday times through out the year I would buy three presents - one for him, one for his wife and one for his daughter. Does this mean that its ok for him to give me a gift on my birthday that is from all three of them? Fortunately for me, my brothers family saw the unfairness of this, and every birthday and christmas they give me a present from each of them, just as I give each of them a present.


I am a firm believer that when people become a couple they should not stop being their individual selves. I think your boyfriend should buy your neice something if that is what all the other guests are expected to do. It can just be something small and inexpensive. Alternatively he could give her a nice card that he picked and signed himself. Even the ones who are married don't need to give a gift 'together'.


Anyway why should you train your boyfriend at this very early stage of the relationship that you will be the one for the rest of his life that thinks about the presents and takes care of it for him. Men need to understand that it is good for them to think for a few moments about somebody elese other than themselves and learn the talent of selecting a suitable gift. Start as you wish to continue.
Reply:My personal opinion:





If he was invited ON HIS OWN, and you are not a couple; then each should buy a present.





If you are a couple (not just going together to the communion), give one present.
Reply:As long as you are a couple you can start giving gifts as a couple. You may leave his name out if you feel like it. Afterall he didn't pay half of it. Only when he starts to offer to pay half of any gifts do you put in his name. Otherwise he will be spoiled and will forever not pay for any gifts for any friends or relatives. You have to teach him how to behave. Request that he pays half or his name won't be put on the gift. If that is what he feels comfortable with, then let it be. Why cover for him if he doesn't feel any shame for not contributing. If you keep covering for him, he will keep letting you do it.
Reply:If you are invited to an event as a couple, then it is acceptable to give a gift as a couple.





Your niece's first communion does not count as such an event -- no doubt she does not recognize you as a couple, yet. Only after you are legally married should you attempt a "from both of us" gift at a family function.





Also, it is inadvisable at this point to get your boyfriend accustomed to sticking his name on a gift you have purchased... it sets a bad precedent you will live to regret.