What is the proper way of announcing your arrival and correct etiquette in distributing gifts for the minions?

I have returned from my semi-annual beaver hunting expedition (and boy is my w****r sore) successful in my hunt. I come bearing gifts of exotic fluffins and hamster ivory. Will the female minions form a line to the right and male ones to the left please.

What is the proper way of announcing your arrival and correct etiquette in distributing gifts for the minions?
You seem to have answered your own question. Next.
Reply:My heart soars like a hawk at your arrival, sore whanger and all. Thine church has't missed thee, and your exotic gifts are praised to hosanna on highest. Not all your minions are female, I hate to tell you, but there is an advantage to that stark reality in that we can share notes. As for forming lines, you can just take that gerbil and put it where the sun don't shine. Welcome back.
Reply:Why not get with the 21st century and email or text those pesky minions. Then they will know to get ready quick smart for your hallowed arrival.





It seems to work for me!
Reply:You mean you leave without warning and disappear for several days, and you expect us to renew our allegiance to you for a few knick-knacks??? Things have changed while you were away, I'm afraid. So you'll have to do better than that.





I want a fur coat. Hamster.
Reply:As long as you are not bringing washboards, I will accept your pelts.
Reply:This is the fourth or fifth time but this is final now....YOU'RE FIRED! Go down to the basement clean out your locker (the filthy one) leave the keys with Mrs Rufflebush and return the company shopping trolley. Mr Penfold and myself will take care of the Church's endeavors and business strategies. And we don't trust Greeks bearing gifts either.








And that white bracelet on your arm is NOT a new Swatch watch


Its for mental patients it reads:"Under continuous medication return wearer to the hospital".
Reply:I'm with Annabella on this and the firing bit. With you being fired out of a high speed cannon in the works shopping trolley with your high balls taking full pelt and on exit having the elastic band machine aimed at your already sore wanger. Then forced to sing Hosanna over and over to the re-appointied one, whomever wants the job.





By the way I've turned conservationist and will have to slap a fine on you for partaking in the hamster ivory safari and helping yourself to endangered fecies, a large amount of exotic fluffins, and hamster ivory.


You may have to be imprisoned in fact while I'm here I will take you away myself, and anything you say, WILL be held against you.





Now you can put that down for starters you won't be needing it where you're going, laddy!.........
Reply:This is just silly. You have had more second comings than Dirk Diggler. BTW i just got a report in of an unconfirmed sighting by a blind hallucinating compulsive liar of a possibly unattached female in a previously unexplored region of equatorial New Guinea although it might have just been an orangutan or possibly nothing at all. Shall I pack your machette and rohypnol master?
Reply:First, you must mount your steed, then parade through Rome triumphant. But, to preserve your humility, you must have pages run alongside and shout to you, "You stink, ay!"
Reply:Give us three rings on the bat phone and we will know you got our gifts home safely. Then just leave them on the doorstep and you will find our thankyou note tucked in the milk bottle.
Reply:What is this stench here? Oh Stooge has decided to grace us with his presence. I'll say shoot him now and split the money.





And that ain't bad.
Reply:It's the same etiqutte you use for grlkbreath!...part %26amp; parcel...
Reply:Well it's about time! I think Tyler had one more gerbil question left before he got fluffinsnuffed.


Looks like they've fired you again, I hope the gifts are enough to sooth their pain of you going AWOL. The Minions are here now so let's get the meeting started. I have packing to do.