How can I convince people to not buy me gifts for Christmas?

I have told my wife and other family members not to give me gifts this year for Christmas. By their reaction, you would think I had slapped them. I have now heard the following, "giving is not for the reciever but the giver", "What, are you just going to sit there while everyone else opens gifts?" and "but if you buy me something it isn't fair if I don't buy you something". To be completely honest, there isn't anything I really need and everything I want is expensive. You would think people would be happy to not have to buy someone a gift.

How can I convince people to not buy me gifts for Christmas?
We are in the same position. We are content with our life and have little need for additional "stuff". (unless if someone wants to gift wood flooring or a new kitchen to us -lol)





For the last 5 years we have given out a list of charities, organizations we are interested in. (Sent with our Christmas cards to those that ask us "what would you like for Christmas").


Inside we have a little note- Your kindness and love is a gift in itself- one that is appreciated year round. Instead of any Christmas gifts to our family - we would greatly appreciate you spreading the love and giving to any of the following organizations.





Our list usually includes, Heifer (love giving Water Buffalo!-lol) , the Humane Society, our local shelter for the homeless- or the battered women's shelter. Find organizations that Mean something to you or your family. - Due to a death in our family this past year (because of cancer) - We will add the American Cancer Society onto this years list.





What we usually receive back to "open"-- are cards that say -


A Donation in your name has been made to ______. We take those cards and hang them on the tree.





As far as the "giving is not for the receiver but the giver" -- I can't tell you how many people have told us they enjoyed donating to these organizations .. and have started doing the same with their Christmas List. - Good Luck... and....





Merry Christmas!
Reply:Glad you liked my suggestion-


Have a wonderful holiday! Report It

Reply:Your family do not sound as if they are being very gracious about it but it is true in many cases that gifts may be something which bring joy to the giver. People do also feel uncomfortable about receiving gifts and not giving them.





Your wife is easy since, well she's your wife, just ask her straightforwardly if she really gets anything out of giving you a gift. If she does, you guys share finances, work something out so maybe you pay over time for something you really want. For your other family members you can try a variety of strategies depending on the person





- Have them donate to a charity in your name instead - that way they know they did get you something.


- Find out if they really are just getting you something as an obligation because you are getting them something. If that is the case how about neither of you buy each other a gift that avoids the awkwardness


- Request a gift card for a store that sells things you do want but are too expensive for one person - though make sure the store lets you combine gift cards.





Good luck and Merry Christmas
Reply:Tell them if they want to give something to you it can be a nice dinner or just their care for you
Reply:Some take that to mean that you don't want to give them anything. Also, you could be robbing them of their joy of shopping for you because they want to.


No one has to give me a gift but I will give a gift to whomever I love. I don't need their permission to make them a special person on my list.
Reply:Every year I go through the same thing and this year I did something a bit differently. I mailed (email, snail mail) and asked that instead of gifts that a small amount (20.00) or whatever be donated to United Way or from a small list of charities and orginaztion's that are non profit. I firmly stated that giving to those in need is giving me something for Christmas, pride knowing I am helping those who need it more than me. The animal shelter always needs something even if its not money and there are countless shelters and things that could use gift cards or food and have them donated in your name. Just a thought though.
Reply:Do what I did when the redhead asked me what I wanted:





"Give me a pumkin pie."





Don't need anything, don't really want anything. But a pumkin pie? I'd never turn down one of those.





Home made, not store bought!
Reply:They love you, tell them all you want are handmade things, or coupons for chores around the house they will do for you.
Reply:I think what you are really saying is "If you can't afford the things I really want I don't want anything." You of course can't say that, and you are a good guy for not saying it. Just let your loved ones do what they want. Get enjoyment of seeing their happy little faces as you smile and say "Its just what I wanted" Save your money and go get the expensive things yourself. Everybody is happy. HO HO HO Merry Christmas!!!!!!
Reply:They feel deprived of the good feeling one gets by giving to another. Perhaps you can suggest your family pools their money and donate it in your name to a favorite charity.
Reply:Personally, I think the whole premise of gift-giving during Christmas is stupid. Sure, get gifts for the kids and all, but adults do not need to swap gifts when they could be saving up to help some of our less fortunate fellow humans. Just another example of the extreme selfishness and ignorance of the Western World. But, in this scenario, there isn't really much you can do, as I'm sure your family will get you something *sigh*.
Reply:Put $3s into nice little envelopes. For those who insist on giving you a gift, give them one of those envelopes.
Reply:i don't know. I don't think you can control people or talk them out of giving you at least something. My mom doesn't have to give everyone littles gifts, but she continues to do so. Even $5 dollar gifts or gifts of 99 cents and or little knicknacks aren't much trouble for her.





...oh and i'm talking about not the immediate family here but far away relatives. So even if you tell them you don't want anything, they'll probably give you something so that you'll have something to open on X-mas. That's the way it was with our family.
Reply:I guess it is so rough for you that your family wants to inclkude you in their festivities
Reply:Tell them that you want Peace on Earth, Love in the Heart, and Happiness all the day through. If they can bottle that, send me some!

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